Community

Hello Courageous Pals,

This month I’m kicking off a new series, all about psychologist Alfred Adler’s Five Life Tasks. The Life Tasks can be thought of as essential components to leading a fulfilling life with others. In fact, Adler believed that all human problems stemmed from interpersonal relationships – the Life Tasks are the solution to finding harmony in one’s interpersonal relationships, and thus to self-fulfilment. (Note that Adler originally proposed three life tasks; his students later added two additional life tasks to which he alludes in his writings but never named outright.) The first three tasks are Work, Love, and Community, and the final two are Belonging and Being. Sometimes slightly alternative terms are used in the literature, like “Vocation” for work and “Society” or “Friendship” for Community.

Courage Pie (to go):

Since Courage Pie is a social experience, we’ll start with the life task of Community. This Life Task is all about how we connect with others: friends, family, community and the web of social relationships in which we find ourselves. This task is all about being interested in people, our sense of being part of a community beyond the individual self. Sometimes this is called social interest or community feeling. This is about belonging and contribution, whether that’s in one’s familial relationships, within a circle of friends and acquaintances, or in more formal ways through community volunteering, teams, clubs and so forth. The Life Tasks can overlap: for example, I get a lot of social benefit out of being an active part of several communities of coaches – and it’s also part of my Life Task related to work and a sense of vocation about my purpose; contribution to the welfare of others.

In a way, we might view the Community Life Task as a sort of prerequisite for the Work life task: in order to have a sense of wanting to contribute, to be of value to others and contribute to their welfare, we have to generally have a sense that the world is a good place and that we like the other people in it; thaqt we gain from them as much as we give to them. That’s what the Community task is all about. True friendships help us to shape our personal values, champion our interests, live authentically and shape our sense of life purpose. A true community (including family and friends), is a deeply enriching, nourishing experience that stems from a place of equality, creates a sense of safety that allows us to go further than we otherwise might – to feel safe to fail and take appropriate risks for our growth. But one of Adler’s core concepts is that it is possible to evade our life tasks: to engage in ‘side shows’ that get in the way of our core work. In the Friendship task, evasion might look like being judgemental towards others, exclusion, conformity of a small in-group and rejection of an out-group, or it might look like having a series of shallow and transactional friendships where no investment is worthwhile unless there’s something in it for you. Or potentially it could look like over-giving and self-negation: where you lose your own sense of self in relationships that start with service but become exploitative.

Fancy a (literally) moving discussion in community? Join us at 3 PM tomorrow (please note the later start time!), 8 July, outside the Populus Cafe at Leith Community Croft for a gentle walk (or wheel) around Leith Links. Sign up via Eventbrite to be notified of any last-minute changes! Can’t make it in person? Reach out to a courageous pal and use the Questions to Go below for a reflective walk of your own.

Questions to Go:

• Where and with whom do you experience a sense of community? How are you cooperating with and contributing to this community?
• Can you recognise any friendships that you have, or may have had in the past, which were more about competition, exclusion, mistrust, or conformity? When did you recognise there was a problem? How did you get that relationship back on track, or exit it?
• Growing up, what were your friendships with others like? Who was your best friend and what did you admire about them? Who did you get along best with in your family and why? Who was your favourite teacher or mentor and what was so compelling about them?
• Are there any communities you currently feel are missing in your life? How might you establish new relationships with those communities?

Science Behind the Slice:

Yang, J., Blagen, M. T., & Milliren, A. P. (2010). The psychology of courage: an Adlerian handbook for healthy social living (1st ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203893517

Colledge, R. (2002). Alfred Adler. In: Mastering Counselling Theory. Palgrave Master Series. Palgrave, London. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-0-230-62957-8_3

Ansbacher, H. L. (1978). The development of Adler’s concept of Social Interest: A critical study. Journal of Individual Psychology, 34(2), 118. Retrieved from https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/development-adlers-concept-social-interest/docview/1303450178/se-2

Coming up…

As usual, Courage Pie: to go happens the day after these newsletters go out – Wednesday 8 July! Sign up via Eventbrite so I don’t wander off without you.

We’ve got our Creative Roots, Open Wings (CROW) wellbeing series at the Corvidaeum on Friday 17 July. This will be a guided summer visualisation to listen in to our intuition about what truths are important to tune into for the rest of the year. 🐦‍⬛🧘

If you’re curious about coaching but not ready to commit to a full package, I’m trialling a new offer: a 90-minute personalised vision board session to get clear on a challenge you’re currently facing, where you’re stuck, and what might help you move forward. Use this pre-work to prepare for working with me or with any coach – or to identify what other types of support might be right for you. See an example vision board here – we’ll personalise this just for you! If we do decide to continue working together, I’ll deduct the cost of this session from your coaching package. This session is £125, and you can book here! I do have a very exclusive limited number of free slots available for my loyal newsletter readers 🤗 Email me back with the word ✨ VISION ✨ and I’ll share the gift booking link with the first three courageous pals.

I’m currently coaching for the Connect Reflect programme hosted by Clore Leadership open to leaders working for organisations in the arts and culture sector in England. Applications for one-on-one coaching are now closed, but they’re still offering places on their autumn peer learning groups – and I’m still available for self-funding coachees if you missed out on getting a space through Connect Reflect!

If anything in this newsletter series has brought up a topic you’d like to work on one-on-one, here’s where you can find all the info about my coaching approach and current offers.

Very best,

Caitlin