How do you want to be heard?
Before sharing your feedback, or anything you want to communicate, think carefully about how the intention of your message could get lost in the delivery. Who are you speaking to? What kind of reaction do you anticipate? How can you have the impact you intend?
What are the facts that you know?
Think carefully about the situation you’re giving feedback about. Try to phrase it in your mind as “Because I saw/heard/experienced __________ , I concluded/felt/believed/’knew’ ___________ .” So often we jump straight to the second part of the story and the person receiving feedback has no idea where this feedback is coming from.
In fact, if we phrase it in this way, can we identify any assumptions or judgements in our feedback which we need to challenge in ourselves before we communicate?
‘Feed forward’: what do you want to change?
None of us can change the past, but we can influence what is on the horizon. What do you want to accomplish by giving this feedback? Is this feedback offered freely as a choice for the other person to take on board? How likely is it that your feedback will be received as constructive and acted on if it comes with strings attached?
Good feedback can be radically life-changing. Learning to give really valuable feedback can supercharge your relationships with peers, your team, and the people you work for. That’s like gold dust for your career!